Weathering the season's
ups and downs
The holidays bring many joys: Getting together with family and friends. Sharing
good food. Enjoying some down time. They also bring considerable stressors for
many people. One way to handle the holidays is by identifying the emotions you
are feeling and adopting a specific strategy to help.
If you're feeling guilty
It's easy to feel that we aren't doing enough, especially when picture-perfect
images are all around us, on TV and in magazines. And then there's that perfect
colleague or neighbour who always seems to have gifts bought and wrapped before
you've even started.
- Take the pressure off. Don't expect things to be perfect; there will most
likely be some surprises along the way.
- See ideals or unrealistic expectations as what they are: impossible to achieve.
Let it slide.
- Pare down your "to do" list. By crossing it off early, you won't
be as tempted to strive for an unrealistic ideal.
If you're feeling lonely
The holidays can be a lonely time if you've lost a loved one, if you're separated
from those you care about or even if you feel disconnected from the people in
your life.
- If you have people to share with, make an extra effort to connect —
with a letter or email, a phone call or time spent together.
- If you'll be missing someone close to you, find a way to honour his or her
memory, but treasure new traditions as well.
- Even if you don't mind spending time alone, reach out to someone else who
needs your help or who may be lonely. Volunteer, or invite a neighbour to
dinner.
- Everyone goes through periods of unhappiness, but if you are going through
extended periods of loneliness or think you may be depressed, find someone
you can talk to: a therapist, religious advisor, physician or friend. It can
really help to sort out your thinking.
If you're feeling angry
There's nothing like family get-togethers to stoke up old rivalries or competitive
spirits.
- Make an agreement with yourself ahead of time that you will ignore bothersome
remarks, attitudes or actions.
- Remind yourself that it's only for a short period of time — you can
get back to your own life and your own way of doing things soon.
- If one person is a particular problem, try to find a way to focus on someone
else. Or try to emphasize the areas where your interests and opinions intersect.
If you're feeling overwhelmed
It can sometimes feel like there are an insurmountable number of tasks to be
completed, items to be purchased, people to see or functions to attend this
time of year. All that busy-ness can take the joy out of the season.
- Get help however you can. Hire a cleaning service for a pre-holiday clean;
purchase prepared foods; delegate chores to other family members; take advantage
of gift-wrapping services at the store or the mall.
- Learn how to say "no" to non-essential gatherings that you really
don't want to go to, or obligations imposed on you by others.
Take time out for a reality check
Take time out regularly through the season for a reality check. Does it really
matter that you don't have a centrepiece for the table or that the turkey was
overcooked? Will anyone remember three years from now that you didn't get around
to sending out cards?
Decide what's really important to you and use that as a focus for your energies.